I don't know what to say........

Tonight, well, this morning, I was looking through websites trying to find some support sites for my sister-in-law who experienced a horrible loss a couple months ago and in my searching I came across several blogs and postings from parents who had lost their children. I bawled. You don't realize until you're in the middle of their emotions what an absolute horrendous thing it is to live through. The stories were all different, but the grief was the same.

I sit here, with three healthy children and I remember the times that I ignored them when they asked me a question, because I was busy. Or I remember the times I yelled at them for the smallest, stupidest things and I am ashamed. I'm ashamed that at that moment in time I did not value every breath that came out of my child's body. I am ashamed because I have three valuable lives dependent on me and sometimes, I don't take it seriously enough. There's so much more to life than the petty and the small that it's amazing to me how much time we really spend on it. My family is amazing. In every way.


In the face of this, I have a smaller understanding of what my sister-in-law is going through, although, I'll never understand the full picture. And I can appreciate the struggle for what it is. A constant uphill battle. My thoughts are with her and her family. Always.